The megilla states that Memuchan, one of the advisors of King Achashverosh, gave the advice to kill Queen Vashti. Based on our tradition, Memuchan was none other than Haman (see gemara megilla 12b). {Another opinion is that Memuchan was Daniel} It is well known that Haman suffered at the hands of his wife, Zeresh. She would only speak in their home her native language, which was not Haman’s mother tongue. She also caused him much distress in other matters. She was a very wise lady, who pushed her husband into the political theater and was constantly berating and insulting him. Therefore, he wanted to enact a decree that would force her to speak in their home only his language and that wives would have to respect their husbands. He therefore came up with the plan to kill Vashti, telling Achashverosh that the disgrace that he suffered through Vashti, would encourage all women to disgrace their husbands.
What is less well known, is part of the reason that Haman wanted to kill Vashti was because of his ill feelings that he had towards her. One opinion is that she used to smack him on his face with her slipper in order to embarass him. Another opinion is that he felt slighted because his wife was not invited to Vashti’s party. The third opinion is that Haman had a daughter that he thought would be perfect to be the new wife of Achashverosh, and thereby ensuring his own political security. It is unclear if this is the same daughter that eventually dumped the contents of the garbage on her own father, thinking it was Mordechai, when Haman had to lead Mordechai around town on the royal horse. When she saw what she had done she felt such remorse that she committed suicide. To order mishloach manot to your children see childrens mishloach manot